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So, you’re either already dating a guy, or have the opportunity to date him, and you find out from some source or other that he has as much of a penchant for peacocks as he does peahens.
Until about six months ago, when my phone buzzed with a text message from a name I never expected to see on my screen again: “Do you want to get coffee? I needed to tell him I was sorry, he needed to tell me how much I had hurt him, and we both needed to hug. Sure, he may have technically had more options than me — he was drawn to men and women, while I was only drawn to men — but that didn’t make him any more promiscuous or untrustworthy than the next guy.Shortly before I married my husband, I finally left Christianity behind, for many reasons. I was finally able to think about who I really am and what I really believe without some old white guy telling me the 'right' answers and condemning me for any deviance. Part of this was learning that I'm not straight.I realized that I was falling in love with one of my female friends (who is also bisexual).And since this week is Bisexual Awareness Week, and I’m feeling sentimental, I’m reflecting on the lessons that relationship taught me, and the ways I learned from him — because my ex-boyfriend was bisexual. The reality was far from it: He was unbearably monogamous and loyal to a fault.He was a true "50-50" bi guy, a lover of men and women, not an “attention-seeker” or a "halfway-there gay man" or any of the ridiculous and offensive claims people make about bisexuals. This led to his heartache, since he was trying to date me, a gay guy who was not monogamously inclined (and still isn’t), a guy who was too immature to say, “Hey, I’m not really looking for a relationship.” This seems basic, but it's unfortunately still necessary to note in an ongoing effort to counteract this bizarre notion that someone who is attracted to multiple genders will inevitably miss having sex with people of the gender they’re not sleeping with, and cheat. For him, as well as for many others, his claim to bisexuality wasn’t a transitional phase or halfway point between straight and gay.
(At least for me; it was the first time I had identified myself in that way.) A year or so later, when I got pregnant, we went back in to the doctor to confirm and after we had heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time, seen that it was a real being, that our lives were about to change, the nurse comes in to do my examination (my boyfriend had left at this point) and tells me in a sly voice, ' I guess we can cross the bisexual off your chart, can't we?